Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I've been living all these years yet only now i realized i do not know what i'm living for..My goal is to get filthy rich and i believe happiness follows after that. What do i want people to perceive me as, i do not know. What do i want to be when i grow up, i often ask myself. How am i going to spend my life, i've yet to figure. All i know is how i've been spending my past 17yrs. And i don't know what it is if it isn't fruitful. I've practically done all a teenage could bring out in him. Of course most of it stupid stunts. What i've done that is actually worth bragging, handful i'd say.
I'd be going back home to my family for good after 5yrs of self/parents imposed exile. I can only wonder what shit am i stepping into now. But i wouldn't deny it was a little bit heartwarming knowing dad wants me back home. There goes my freedom though i figure. For once, i actually think they look at me as an young adult. Nevertheless, they are renowned for proving me wrong. LOL.
Been working. Been earning. Been spending. Certified Spender.
I've always thought i was a good boyfriend that anyone would be lucky to have me. Now i've been shown i sure am not. I pulled all of them down deep under before bouncing them off up high. I tried my best to be provide. In the end i realized i was better at receiving.
Carolyn
I have my reasons. We lead different lives. I can't bear to hurt you ever again but my love for you never once was fake. Every moment with you i will never forget. You made me feel loved but i couldn't make it last. I truly am sorry.
I could only pick myself up and be a better boyfriend now.
